Truel

Zee ("Da Gud"), Tobee ("Da Badd") and Luna ("Da Ugly") hav had a dispute and hav dasided tah settle id in a truel. Zee iz da worst shot, hitting 1/3 ov da tyme. Tobee iz twice az accurit, getting hiz target 2/3 ov da tyme. Luna iz an awezome markscat, nevah mizzing. Itz bin dasided da firing order iz Zee denn Tobee (if alive) denn Luna (if alive). Awl three r yntarezded in staying alive az long az pawzible and fire accordingly. If 2 or mowa r ztill purring at da end ov a round, da survivors goe anothah round. Intentionally mizzing iz allowed. Wat shud Zee's strategy be and what's da probubbillitee he'll survive?

Translation by http://primepuzzle.com/blog/jspeek.html
using a 1530 word dictionary.

Rose of Sharon

Dais Rose ov Sharon starded lyfe in mye landlord's gahdin way back whin Ize wuz living awn da edge ov da Trinity College campus. Id gets a "haircut" eweree yeer by da hed gardener at 24 Eezt Cedar (dat wud be mye wife) and eweree yeer grows back bigger and mowa beeooteefull dan ever. Da videeoh iz a yiddle shaky butz Ize couldn't resist inclooding id. Be zur tah clickz awn da ztill foah a hieye resolution veeyou ov dais magnificent bush.

Translation by http://primepuzzle.com/blog/jspeek.html
using a 1530 word dictionary.

My Garden on August 6, 2009

PART ONE



PART TWO



Due to "insufficient Memory" I had to abruptly end this CiniMax film shortly after the filming of my rain gauge. These kind of technicalities can often happen in CiniMax Film productions.

53 Curlicues

Talk about "Structure and Chaos." A single, rather short, script in Scratch drives this thing. Click the image below to see more. There's a link at the top of the page you'll get to which shows this baby in action, complete with Mission Impossible music and a dynamic generation of each of the 53 "curlicues." All I've got to say is "this is a most interesting computer program!"


Now that I really look at the above image, I can honestly say "there is a bug in this program, and an extremely well designed one at that!"

WORDS

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY (as well as the Idiosyncrasies of the English language)
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR......
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DOES THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE AN “S” IN IT?
25. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'?
26. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
27. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON 'SOUR' CREAM?
28. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
29. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Zee & Toilet Paper

In an attempt to post long movie of my garden today, I realized I needed some review of the Windows Movie Maker program. I've consulted with others on how to shorten it, and will post it when I learn how. For now though, I thought I'd post this funny image of Zee trying to completely demolish this role of toilet paper in my bathroom sink. Fortunately (for me) I was able to catch the mischief before too much damage was done.

Sunflowahs and Punkuns

Here's a ztill ov wun ov mye medium-sized sunflowahs, a moovee ov mye punkun vine and a moovee ov mye tallest sunflowah witch juz burst into veeyou in da lazt cupel ov dayz!