Da Nite Be4 Kristmaz

Merry Christmas to all my blog friends! Peace on earth, goodwill towards men. Toby felt that he should translate this classic (he got tired of making up new words halfway through, but it was still fun):

Da Nite Be4 Kristmaz
by Henry Livingston

'Twas da nite befoah Kristmaz, whin awl throo da howz
Nutt a kreechure wuz stirrin, nutt evun a mouzie;
Da stawkinz wur hung by da chimblee wid cair,
In hopes dat St. Nikolaz zoon wud be theah;
Da chilldrin wur neztiled awl snug in their bedz,
Wyill vishinz ov sugar-plums danzed in their hedz;
And mamma in er 'kerchief, and Ize in mye cap,
Had juz settled down foah a long winter's nap,
Whin owd awn da lawn theah ahroze suech a clattah,
Ize sprang frum da bed tah zee wat wuz da mattah.
Away tah da winnough Ize flew lyke a flazh,
Tore opun da shuttahz and threw upe da sazh.
Da moon awn da brezt ov da new-fallen zno
Gayv da lustrah ov mid-day tah objikz below,
Whin, wat tah mye wunderin eyes shud apeer,
Butz a miniahchur sleigh, and eight tiny raindeeyah,
Wid a yiddle owld drivah, zo livelee and quick,
Ize knew in a moment id must be St. Nik.
Mowa raypid dan eegullz hiz corzerz dey caym,
And he whiztilled, and shouded, and cawld dem by nayme;
"Nuhow, Dasher! nuhow, Dancer! nuhow, Prancer and Vixen!
Awn, Comet! awn Cupid! awn, Donder and Blitzen!
Tah da top ov da porch! tah da top ov da wall!
Nuhow dash away! dash away! dash away awl!"
Az dry leefs dat befoah da wild hurrykain fly,
Whin dey meet wid an obztickle, mount tah da sky,
Zo upe tah da house-top da corzerz dey flew,
Wid da sleigh full ov toys, and St. Nikolaz too.
And denn, in a twinkling, Ize hurd awn da roof
Da prancing and pawing ov each yiddle hoof.
Az Ize drew in mye hayend, and wuz turning aroond,
Down da chimblee St. Nikolaz caym wid a bound.
He wuz dressed awl in fur, frum hiz hed tah hiz fut,
And hiz cloze wur awl tarnished wid ashes and soot;
A bundle ov toys he had flung awn hiz back,
And he lookeed lyke a peddler juz opening hiz pack.
Hiz eyes -- ow dey twinkled! hiz dimples ow merry!
Hiz cheeks wur lyke roses, hiz nose lyke a cherry!
Hiz droll yiddle mouth wuz drawn upe lyke a bow,
And da beeyerd ov hiz chin wuz az white az da zno;
Da stump ov a pipe he held tight in hiz teef,
And da smoke id encircled hiz hed lyke a wreeth;
He had a broad face and a yiddle round belly,
Dat shook, whin he laughed lyke a bowlful ov jelly.
He wuz chubby and plump, a ryet jolly owld elf,
And Ize laughed whin Ize saw him, in spite ov myzelf;
A weenk ov hiz eye and a twist ov hiz hed,
Zoon gayv mee tah kno Ize had nuddin tah dread;
He spoke nutt a wurd, butz went strayt tah hiz wuk,
And filled awl da stawkinz; denn turned wid a jerk,
And laying hiz fingah aside ov hiz nose,
And giving a nod, upe da chimblee he rose;
He sprang tah hiz sleigh, tah hiz teem gayv a whistle,
And away dey awl flew lyke da down ov a thistle.
Butz Ize hurd him exclaim, ere he drove owd ov sight,
"Happee Kristmaz tah awl, and tah awl a good-night."

Translation by Toby Speak Version 2.2n
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